We’ve all been there—hanging out with friends, bored out of our minds, unsure what to do. Eventually, someone defaults to one of the most classic questions in the “bored teenager” handbook: What sport do you wanna play? Now, most people throw out the usual contenders—soccer, football, basketball, maybe even volleyball if the group’s feeling adventurous.

But occasionally, you encounter that one friend. You know the one. The 4’3” kid with circular glasses thicker than the bottom of a Coke bottle, whose fingers haven’t left a keyboard since third grade. And when it’s their turn to answer, they push their glasses up, clear their throat like they’re about to drop some Shakespeare, and hit you with the “Chess.”

Pause. Chess. Really? Like, we’re out here ready to sweat, chase a ball, maybe break a bone or two, and this guy wants to post up with a wooden board and a bunch of plastic pieces, looking like he’s auditioning for the next season of The Queen’s Gambit. As if bro thinks he’s about to cook.

Alright, so after that whole “chess is a sport” bombshell, we can definitely conclude a few things off the bat: Number 1: We are absolutely, 100%, not playing chess. Not now, not at this hangout, not ever. Number 2: That kid? Yeah, they’re not getting invited to the next hangout. Sorry, but suggesting chess during prime friend time is borderline social treason. Number 3: Let’s be real—our nerdy friend’s glasses are probably fogged up from the sheer audacity of bringing up chess in the first place.

But here’s where it gets interesting: the idea of chess being a sport. Sure, our friend’s definitely a loser for even bringing it up as an activity—just like when your mom asks what you want for dinner, and you casually say, “broiled brussels sprouts.” Yeah, it’s a valid option (technically), but it’s also a terrible choice that gets you a one-trip ticket to a whooping by your older brother.

The thing is, just because the suggestion of playing chess is a vibe killer doesn’t mean the concept of chess as a sport is wrong. In fact, it’s a pretty solid argument if you think about it.

By definition, a sport involves some sort of strain on the human body paired with a healthy dose of competition. When we hear “sport,” most of us immediately default to physical exercise that is not limited to but includes: running around, chasing balls, kicking stuff, throwing stuff, and yelling at teammates (or opponents). It’s all chaos and cardio.

But strain isn’t limited to physical exhaustion. Mental strain can absolutely count too. And if you’ve ever sat down for a real game of chess—not just fumbling with the pieces while Googling “How does the horse move?”—you’d know that chess is no joke when it comes to frying your brain.

Take this fun fact: a chess grandmaster can burn up to 6,000 calories in a day. Yes, 6,000. That’s more than Michael Phelps devours during Olympic training, and way more than what you burn playing other sports. Compare that to the measly 700-900 calories per 90-minute soccer game or 650 per hour for basketball. Even tennis, a full-body workout, barely scratches 400-600 calories per hour.

Please note that those 6,000 calories only happen when you actually play chess. Not when you try to play chess. There’s a huge difference. As for you? I wholeheartedly promise you that when you play chess, you and all the people within a 5-mile radius are probably gaining a few hundred pounds from the sheer confusion radiating off the board (except if you’re above 2000 Elo… If that’s the case, I’m sorry for everything I said). Because let’s be honest—if you’re still asking how the knight works, you’re not burning anything except the last shred of patience your opponent has.

So, at this point, we’ve established that chess is definitely a sport—or at least, it’s meant to be. The skill, preparation, and strategy required to play it properly earn chess that prestigious title. See, when chess is played at a professional level, it’s a mental battlefield. You’ve got players pulling out proper openings, memorizing decades of theory, calculating endgame strategies 20 moves ahead—all while trying not to pass out from the mental strain. That’s the chess that burns 6,000 calories. That’s the chess that deserves to be a sport.

But then, there’s the chess most people play: the casual, friendly version where you’re just moving pieces around with zero regard for theory, openings, or even the basic rules. The kind where you call the knight a “horsey” and think castling is just a funky dance move. That’s not sport-level chess—that’s just a game. And it’s this casual vibe that gives chess the “game” title among most people.

Going off of that, one can definitely argue that if chess is a sport, then why aren’t games like Scrabble, Catan, or Monopoly given the same treatment? They involve strategy, competition, and mental strain too, right? So why don’t we see Scrabble tournaments labeled as Olympic events?

The answer lies in the amount of strain and skill involved. Chess at a competitive level demands a level of preparation, concentration, and mental endurance that goes far beyond your typical board game. Just because you’re making strategic moves in Monopoly doesn’t mean you’re burning calories like a chess grandmaster. It’s the difference between running a marathon and, well, running to your fridge to grab a medium-sized vanilla-flavored Coke and a pumpkin spice cinnamon crumble pie with whipped cream on top. One’s a sport. The other’s just… let’s say… a lifestyle choice.

And as an FYI—poker is considered a sport. Surprised? It might not involve running, jumping, or throwing anything (except shade), but poker requires an incredible amount of mental thought and focus. Additionally, The World Series of Poker is even televised, right alongside other major sports events.

And let’s not even get started on the world of chess federations. Sure, chess might not be an Olympic event (yet), but the global chess scene is absolutely stacked. There’s the Fédération Internationale des Échecs (or FIDE for short), the governing body for international chess competitions. Then you’ve got the Chess Olympiad, the World Chess Championship, the Candidates Tournament, and even high-stakes events like the Tata Steel Chess Tournament, the Sinquefield Cup, and the Grand Chess Tour.

Oh, and let’s not forget the explosion of online chess tournaments hosted by platforms like Chess.com and Lichess, where players from all over the world compete for glory—and massive cash prizes. In fact, the prize pools for top-tier chess events reach millions of dollars. That’s right: millions. If millions of dollars on the line doesn’t scream “sport,” then my friend, I don’t know what to tell you, except “I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors as a young intellectual lad.”

But honestly, chess shouldn’t even be up for debate when it comes to its status as a sport. If anything, we should be questioning some of the other so-called sports out there. Respectfully—and I mean no disrespect—but darts? What is that? Absolutely no physical exertion unless you count walking to the board to retrieve the darts (No seriously. You lose 100 calories per hour when playing darts. I lose more calories thinking about the guy who allowed darts to be a sport). What about curling? Sliding a rock across ice while sweeping? Cheerleading? Golf? Dancing? Really? And don’t even get me started on horse racing, rodeos, or bullfighting. Are we sure those are sports, or are we just making things up at this point? So the next time someone scoffs at chess being a sport, remind them of the federations, the tournaments, the prize pools, and the fact that chess demands more mental and physical strain than most people can handle. And if they still don’t agree, just smile and challenge them to a game. Spoiler alert: they’ll lose.

I’ll end my long-winded rant now. Just keep an open mind, folks. Chess is, without a doubt, a sport. It challenges the mind, burns more calories than most of us do on a treadmill, and has a global following with tournaments worth millions. But in all seriousness, while chess is technically a sport, it’s by no means a sport for any of you reading this article. Let’s be real—none of us are grandmasters here. So if your friend dares to suggest playing chess when you ask what sport they want to play, and they’re rocking anything below a 2000 Elo rating, feel free to roast them all you want. They deserve it. Play soccer, play basketball, play literally anything else. But let’s save the chessboard for game-time or fun-time. Trust me, everyone will be happier for it.